The nature of relationships in the 21st century has beckoned us to a new cultural and social horizon.Relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives, yet we can often forget just how crucial our relationship with other people are for our physical and mental health and wellbeing. One Of The Most Critical Choices A Person Can Make Is With Whom To Be In Relationship; The Second Most Critical Is With Whom Not To Be In Relationship.
Let’s discuss the 10 mistakes couples do while in a relationship.
1.Going For Commitment Too Quickly
There are many couples, especially with less experience in long term relationships, rush into commitments quickly as they think that this may be their only chance for love. Ignoring the intensity or how deep is their relationship. prematurely can be a sure recipe for driving away from the other partner. A relationship is a process, and it needs to unfold over time.It is always preferable that before knowing each other & match the compatible level then go for commitment, as commitment is something more serious & more responsible.
2.Disclose Personal Information At The Onset Of The New Relationship
We always heard from our childhood that honesty is the best policy, but it does not apply to all situations. Many couples unloaded every bit of personal information at the onset of the new relationship.New couples even disclose the information even on the subject like family secrets, family assets, finances & previous relationships which are not advisable at all. If we do that too early in the development of a relationship we run the risk that if it doesn’t work out, we’ve given out a lot of very personal data that can come back to hurt us.
3.Consciously Hiding Things
while revealing too much is the mistake of a relationship, so can consciously keeping secrets or withholding information. Hiding things that would be emotionally damaging for the other person to find out. It is not always that dishonesty is the reason for the action. During relationships couples hide simple pieces of information from their partner which harms their relationship & creates a trust issue. A lot of dishonesty in a relationship can be highly problematic.
It is always advisable in a relationship that couples should share their feelings, thoughts liking & disliking to their partners. It’ll often seem easier to let things go in a relationship rather than harp on them, but suppressing feelings too often can become problematic down the line, postponing arguments until those feelings have reached their boiling point. If something about the relationship troubles you, it is advisable to take it up with your partner rather than complaining to other persons. Don’t allow any other 3rd person to interfere in your relationship.
5.Fighting on a petty arguments
In a relationship, some partners prefer to tackle every potential disagreement head-on as soon as it comes. However, while trying to immediately talk through every minor argument can become exhausting for both partners. This escalated conflicts that would resolve themselves over time. It doesn’t necessarily mean avoiding that topic forever, it just means avoiding that conflict right now and waiting for when it can be dealt with more rationally. Eventually, it has been seen that couples due to lack of concentration fight on simple things that are not a matter of disagreement.
Many times it has been seen in a relationship that couples, whether resulting from a partner’s past dishonesty or their insecurities, being constantly suspicious is a definite red flag and usually indicates trust issues somewhere in the relationship. This mistrust creates a trace of bitterness in a relationship. This mistrust can stem from many sources. Mistrust makes couples do some paranoid behaviors like snooping through a partner’s texts to follow them to see where their partner goes & whom to meet with. With some extreme might hire a detective for the same.
7.Being Overly Affectionate
Many times, especially in a new relation & even an old relationship, may lead to a practice called love bombing where one showers their partner with verbal affirmations, physical affection & favors to the point of excess. Many times over possessiveness act as a boomerang. Acting out behaviors associated with a more established relationship before reaching a strong, emotional foundation may ring hollow.
8.Not Giving Enough Time To Relationship
In a relationship, especially in an old relationship, partners often complain to each other that their partner and the relationship are not investing enough time, energy, and emotional affection. While a relationship can be an outlet to talk about oneself, be wary if either you or your partner fails to reciprocate by listening and showing concern for the other person’s experiences and emotions. Partners must give enough time for their relationship & which should not fade with time.Every partner expects that their other half will give time to the relationship,spend quality time & share their emotion & feelings.Sometimes a partner may think of being neglected & often causes mental trauma.
9.Focusing Much on the Physical Desire
Often not investing enough in a partner’s emotions is the mistake of focusing too much on a relationship’s physical aspects. If everything we have and value about the relationship is physical or sexual, it can be very fulfilling in the short run, but it’s not enough to build a long-term relationship. At some point, the physical attraction and sexual excitement are going to fade, and when that becomes the primary focus, we’re not investing in things that will give that relationship a fair chance of sustaining itself.
10.Sacrificing Other Relationships and Interests
Often seen that couples started neglecting their hobbies & personal connections in favor of their partners.According to Floyd, one of the physiological symptoms of infatuation is a reduction of the brain’s serotonin levels, resulting in an ADHD-like state wherein one’s attention keeps reverting to the object of affection. Not only is this poor prioritizing and alienating to other friends, but it can also set the relationship up for resentment and disappointment as one single person will rarely if ever be enough to meet all our relational needs.
Five things you can do
1. Give time: put more time aside to connect with friends and family.
2. Be present: it can be tempting to check your phone, Facebook messages, or even work emails when with family and friends. Try to be present at the moment and be there for your loved ones, and switch out of work mode whenever possible.
3. Listen: actively listen to what others are saying in a non-judgemental way and concentrate on their needs at that moment.
4. Be listened to: share how you are feeling, honestly, and allow yourself to be listened to and supported.
5. Recognise unhealthy relationships: being around positive people can make us happier; however, our wellbeing can be negatively affected by harmful relationships, leaving us unhappy. Recognizing this can help us move forward and find solutions to issues.